Apology

Apologizing can be a powerful tool in conflict resolution, one that is sometimes essential to reconciliation. According to a number of international conflict scholars, including Joseph Montville, apologies are absolutely essential in the resolution of violent ethnic or religious conflicts, such as those occurring in the Middle East or in the Balkans. In those situations, it is essential that both sides listen to and acknowledge their responsibility for the grievances of their opponents. Only by accepting their appropriate moral responsibility for the opponents' suffering can healing and reconciliation take place. This then allows for the "establishment of a new relationship based on mutual acceptance and reasonable trust" (Montville 1993, 112). Such recognition of responsibility and apology are rare in deep-rooted, protracted conflicts but can sometimes be fostered by parties engaging in cooperative problem-solving efforts, particularly problem-solving workshops designed by Herbert Kelman (Kelman and Cohen 1976), John Burton (1987), and others.

Apologies are also useful—and often easier to obtain—in interpersonal conflicts. Typical steps in problem-solving negotiation involve first listening to the grievances of the other side and then acknowledging those grievances. Acknowledgment does not necessarily imply agreement with that view, but simply acceptance of the fact that it exists. If, however, one party agrees that he or she was in error, at least in part, and is willing to apologize for that error, that can go a long way toward mending relationships and encouraging the other side to then accept responsibility for his or her part of the problem. As in international cases, apology paves the way for the development of cooperative solutions and the reestablishment of trust and strong working relationships.