Self-Awareness

The first step toward constructive anger management, according to Gary Hankins, author of Prescription for Anger, is developing improved self-awareness. The more you are able to identify and predict what situations make you angry and how you typically respond, the more you will be able to modify your response to make it constructive. "Anger management is NOT the process of avoiding or eliminating anger, rather it is the process of using your self-awareness to make your anger work for you, rather than against you" (Hankins 1988, 139). If you understand what typically makes you angry, people will not be able to "push your buttons" or knock you off balance. You will be prepared for any tricks they might try and will have a preplanned effective response to most anger-provoking situations. Even when anger hits you by surprise, such self-awareness can help you respond in a more effective way, as you become aware of what you are doing and how that will affect your opponent and your relationship overall.